about me

I’m a taller than average, 30-something girl, trapped in a highly visible, stupidly stressful, soul-crushing career that I’ve never felt authentic doing and I want out. Yesterday.

So, in an effort to bring some life back to my work/life balance, I’m choosing to commit political suicide by leaving “early” from work and taking the 5:35 train home while the rest of my department stays until 6:00 or 7:00 or 8:00 pm, but by giving too much of myself to my job over the past few years, I ended up sabotaging my well-being – inside and out. I’m simply not willing to do it any more. I made a promise to myself that I would LIVE more and work less and I intend to keep it. This is a record of my re-birth from a high-performing over achiever wrecked and exhausted from job stress to an average/slightly less than average C student who is learning to stop working nights and weekends. Lowering the bar that I’ve set for myself is freeing, but it’s also terrifying. A people-pleaser for the past 30-something years, I feel terrible disappointing people – my co-workers, my boss… but I’m evolving to the point where I’m committing to care less about pleasing others at a job that I don’t want to be in 5 year, 1 year, or maybe even 6 months from now.

I’m going to write a book over the next year and I’m going to keep painting. When one gets to me, I’ll switch to the other until that becomes frustrating, and on and on. It’s giving me something to be accountable for outside of work. I’m going to make an effort to write or paint something 5-7 days a week. Even if it’s only for 15 minutes. Even if it’s only 5 minutes. Even if it’s 5 words.

Some of these posts will be free writing and ramblings. Others may be exercises that I assign to myself as a prompt. Some may even end up in a book.

Join me or don’t join me. Comment or don’t comment. While this is an experiment, it is also (I hope) going to be a large part of my life for the next year. I will likely be very candid in these entries and that means that I’ll be allowing myself to be vulnerable to you. That said, if you choose to comment, all I ask is that you be honest and kind – even if we disagree.